Where is my Nineveh?

 Tarshish

You have called me upon this hill;
No man to convince me, It was all in Your will. 

My mind at peace at this pace,
 why would I want to leave this place?

I ask, is my life like the fragile dove?
Set free to roam about,
yet fights against the wind not looking above.

My ship beginning to sink,
the waters to deep.

I am soaring high, my eyes to search,
Shall I land with no branch to perch

Do I have the water lead me to shore,
or shall I continue to fight,be weary, and ignore?
I know this is where You've called me,
 So why do I desire to flee?

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Have you ever made a decision to do something, then second guessed yourself? A decision that impacts your life, not just what to eat that day. Have you ever heard a calling upon your life, then decided you wanted to walk the other way because you thought it would be easier?  Have you ever found yourself so far off the path God had laid out for you, you end up with a swift kick in the backside? Well, I entered into the first stage today, and I'm hoping to not have the rest fall behind it.

I opened up my Word this morning to start a study in Jonah. (Fun fact #1: Jonah means dove, and dove means message carrier. Fun fact #2: Doves are very intelligent birds, however, if the bird does not have someone to follow after {I.E his/her parents}, the bird will flee the path it was on and make his/her own path.)  Wow. I think it is the smallest book in the bible with the amount of trails and studies you could do within the same book. If you have never read the book of Jonah, I suggest you go start right now. I'm serious. Hearing the story, or pretending you 'know' the story is one thing, but to study it is another, and I've only just begun.

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When I was called to Palomar, I knew right away. There was no demanding voice, there was no particular thing that pulled me toward this camp, I just knew. Door after door kept opening, and why force a door closed, when your curiosity has you walk through it? So my question is this, in my new decisions in life, am I making the right choice? The choice that leads me to the path of Christ? Am I on my trip to Nineveh, or am I jumping ship to go to Tarshish? Am I fleeing what I know just because  I think it will get hard in the near future? Am I fleeing what I know because I want to be closer to where my heart desires?

We all have a path in our lives, we may not walk it perfectly (In fact no not one will, Romans 3:10), but we all have a path. We all have a ship that has set sail, and we shouldn't be on anyone else's ship. They have their own mission, their own goal, and if we enter their boat we are stumbling a brother or sister into helping us sin! Crazy to think about right? Well think of Jonah. He ended up on some random persons boat, to a random city.  A city 2200 miles away from where he was, when his original destination would have been only 600 miles away. So another words, the path he thought would be easier, ended up being harder, and longer. And while on the boat he ended up making the sea uproar and turn a regular voyage into a nightmare. The owner of the boat ended up throwing all of his livelihood overboard just to keep the boat from sinking! 

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 Still my thoughts are, "How will I know this is the right decision in my life/ for my life?". Well one, I am reminded in Matthew 6:25-34 where Jesus is telling me not to worry about my tomorrow, or the clothes on my back. That if God can look after and feed the birds of the air, how much more then, will He look after me? But there are also certain steps you have to take to start a process. Not saying that the Lord can't or won't do everything necessary to get you where He wants you to be, but this is the part of a relationship He desires you to take action in. If the door is put there, He will either open it or keep it shut. I don't know about you, but standing in front a closed door is pretty boring, so I wouldn't want to do that for very long.  

  

The only way I will get an answer is not by asking over and over. Not by dwelling in the chaos of my mind. My answer/ my help comes from the Lord. By prayer and fasting. By continuing in the good work which He has already called me to (Philippians 1:6). 

So with that being said, What is my Tarshish? Am I fleeing? Or am I putting a door in front of me waiting to see if the Lord opens it? Does this mean I am now on my way to a new Nineveh? 

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Psalm 121:1-2

"I will lift  mine eyes unto the hills, from whence cometh my help?
My help cometh from the Lord, which made heaven and earth."
(KJV version)

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Lord I come before You asking your forgiveness. I have doubted my decisions the last few weeks thinking that if they were not of You, I needed to turn away. But Lord, You know the desires of my heart, and you grant them to me. So Lord I ask You would clarify in my heart the wisdom that needs to follow. That I may know and understand more the calling upon my life. I ask You would guide me on Your path alone, and help sail the ship I am in. Thank You for Your provision and Your grace and love in my life, I pray I would never stop speaking of Your goodness. I love You Lord, and it is in Your name I pray, amen. 

-Danielle