Purpose

Tick-tock....tick-tock 

Life counting down your earthly clock.

The second we are born is the second we begin to die. 

As a child, we live life and don't ponder why. 

As we grow old, we realize all will have to say goodbye. 

Whether we're twenty years or one hundred-twenty, 

Live with a purpose overlooked by many.

To serve the One who made the heavens,
Came down to earth to take my blemishes.

The moment we accept the gift so freely given,
That is the moment our eternal clock may begin.

So whether I live or die today,
I know I have a purpose.
To serve the One who gave His life away.

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To the one thinking you have to have it all together 100% of the time. Stop. To the one searching for an answer to impress when someone asks, 'What are your plans for the future?, stop searching. To the one scrolling through everyone's social media outlets wishing you could have their lives, stop scrolling. Do you get where I'm going with this?

What if  we focused on what we were given in life. What if  we focused on what we were equipped to do instead of looking at everyone else and becoming frustrated at what we weren't created for.

There will always be someone a little more put together. There will always be someone a little older, prettier, thinner, funnier. But what if , we learned to push past that and appreciate what we are given, and actually show up and make an impact on someone. Let's engage in the conversations in front of us, let's comfort our troubled brothers and sisters, let's give our all in marriage.

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I've always felt a burning desire in my heart to reach teens and show them they matter, they have a purpose, they belong. It goes way deeper than that, but in summary, I've wanted to create or be a part of a ministry where I can be fired up and sing the song of my heart. 

For years I have felt lost in how to achieve such a goal. Wondering if maybe that person was right, I should've gotten that degree to help launch me forward. That maybe the opportunity would show up in the next job, church, community. Thinking "Am I pursuing a passion that will never unfold?". 

I wake up yearning for an impactful life almost everyday, dwelling on what I don't have. Then the insecurities pour out. "I'm just a young girl, what could I have to offer? I've not gone to college, what wisdom do I have? I've not been married long, who would take my advice?" 

I keep forgetting that the Lord didn't call those who are equipped, but he equips those He calls. (1 Corinthians 1:27). In other words, I may not feel I am making a difference but I need to embrace the power of impact in the unseen spaces and ordinary places. 

I realized I have been looking at it from the wrong angle. I keep thinking I need to be on some spotlit stage with hundreds in the audience. And in my obsession I have stepped back from what I'm called to here and now. A wife to an amazing man who deserves my love and faithfulness. A sister, to encourage those in my physical and spiritual family. A worker, to follow in humility where the Lord has placed me. 

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If you're reading this and you're not where you want to be, then stop. Be where you're at and embrace your flaws that make you, well, you! Enjoy the progress, thank the Lord for the challenges that are forming you. There is no shame in admitting that we don't have life all figured out. 

So, to the young girl reading this: you're beautiful, you matter.

To the young man: keep dreaming, you matter.

To the new parents: you've got this, be strong, you matter.

To the newly wed/soon to be: don't be scared, you matter.

To the one who feels unloved, unimportant, foolish, overweight, fill in the blank:

Your brokenness is welcome here

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If you've repented from your sins, you've asked The Lord Jesus to change your heart and create in you a new spirit (Psalm 51:10), then welcome to forgiveness.

Will you join me in this movement? Will you challenge yourself with me to show up in the trial you're facing now. I encourage you brothers and sisters, you're here for a reason. This day, step out in confidence and speak of your flaws, insecurities, shame and guilt. 'For if God is with us, who could be against us?' Romans 8:31.

Pray with me:

Lord I thank you for choosing me to be where I am. Thank You for challenging me the way you do and placing trials in my life to help me grow. Thank You for the people in my life I can call my family, to encourage and love. I thank you for placing a desire in my life to pursue You, no matter what that looks like. Lord, I ask You help me realize that all You've called me to is to love and serve. That over time the looks of that service might look different than others, or even myself. But Lord I ask You reveal the thing in my life You've placed there, to put my passion in and be present. Thank You Lord for giving me such a life as this. I ask that wherever I go, whatever I do, whatever I say, people may be pointed toward You. I ask you empty me of me so that I may be filled with more of You.  In Jesus's name, amen.

  Photo credit: True to life photography 
  Location: Manchester St. park. Washington state. 


Danielle Nunez.

Pain

:WARNING:
The following topic can be considered graphic
and may not be appropriate for all consumers.

P.C.O.S. 

Polycystic ovarian syndrome: There are 157,000,000 women in the United States. 15,700,000 of those women have this disease. These 10% of women feel alone, shameful, afraid. They are silenced by the 90% of people who don't have the disease. Those four letters seem insignificant to most, but to others those four letters mean pain.

I am the 10%

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Hushed by society, we cower in the corner and keep quiet. This disease is something almost no one talks about, and to be honest, it’s because no one wants to talk about it. But if we can talk about abortion or even homosexuality so openly, talking about the natural occurrence in a woman's body is the least inappropriate topic. Even the fact that I had to put a warning label before starting this blog shows us that this culture is so blinded by some peoples reality, it’s like they live in a fantasy.

What is PCOS? It is the formation of cysts on the exterior/interior of the ovary lining.  

I have brushed this topic off for so long with so many people because of my fear. But what is there to fear? It's time to be vulnerable and honest. Just giving you the definition of PCOS isn't the full story, there is so much more 'behind the scenes'. PCOS is different for almost every woman, some have the physical pain, and some have mental pain, while some have both. 

I am not so sure I can speak for every woman of the 10% when I say, stop acting like you know what we go through. I'm sorry, but that is the fact. All my life, family, friends, even strangers have taken it upon themselves to point out a few seemingly minor details (to them) about my appearance or 'vibe'.

And while these comments may seem appropriate to you, they are embarrassing to us.  

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The physical: 

 Cyst: In the body, a membranous sac or cavity of abnormal character containing fluid.

Imagine a pimple anywhere on your body; now imagine someone trying to pop that pimple when it isn't ready. Hurts doesn't it? That is the uncomfortable pinching we feel all day, every day. 

Pain can happen at any moment, and the pain can sometimes leave us incapacitated and laying on our bed all day. The pain comes from the cyst randomly popping, either before/after a menstrual cycle, exercise, dehydration etc... The point is, we aren't ever in the know when we will be in pain, but we are sure aware of it. Yet somehow we are expected to hold our own with our heads held high. We are expected to ignore the pain and move on with our lives because 'that's just what women do.’

Look, I understand because of this fallen world we live in, sin has caused many a trial. In fact in the bible it is clear;

Genesis 3:16 '...I will surely multiply your pain in childbearing, in pain you shall bring forth children...'

I'm saying I understand we (the women) will have our share of pain in this world. I am saying that because we deal with a certain level of pain every day, when we say we truly can't do something because of the pain, that we are very serious and we would love you to understand.

The mental:

The strain on our bodies from this disease is draining. I say that the secondary pain is mental but to be truthful I'm not sure how else to put it, It's just another type of physical pain.

When a woman has PCOS her hormones are not what you'd expect. For years I worried about my body image, and I thought my insecurities were very normal. Turns out I was wrong. The cysts that form around the lower abdomen prevent the uterus from doing what it naturally wants to do. So the lack of a menstrual cycle begins a long downward spiral of hormone imbalances that cause many other symptoms.

A menstrual cycle helps promote your body to naturally produce estrogen, while the lack of it depletes the estrogen leaving the body to multiply in testosterone.

 

•  Extreme facial hair   
• large bone structure 
• deep/low voice structure 
• amplified acne 
• mood swings

These are some of the symptoms we (the 10%) deal with for years before they disappear, but most of these symptoms never leave us.

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The few things I mentioned above is the tip of the iceberg. Although I know that what I am about to say is, and always will be in the hands of my savoir Jesus Christ. There is yet one more thing that weighs on the shoulders of those with PCOS. 

No matter who you are as a woman, you have a goal in life. To be a stay-at-home mom, carrier driven, an artist, no matter what your view is on a future family. To hear the diagnosis you are 98% guaranteed to never bear a child is devastating. 

Fear, shame, and blame. 

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The reason I point out all of these issues is because you never know someone’s story. Man or woman, you have a story, you have a life. Our goal/job is life is to love one another, to encourage and be of one mind. So the next time you want to point out that your friend doesn't fit your stereotype, you'll ask yourself:

'What is their story?' 

~Danielle Nunez