Out with the old, in with the new.

Hidden in me.
Look at my soul, what do you see?
Not even I know what is hidden in me.
Protective barriers and walls I've built,
whilst living behind them gives me a life unfulfilled.

There is a war in this world
that I truly abhor,
It seams few can be trusted anymore.
Surrounded by death, poverty, and strife,
I often need sit still and ponder upon life.
My values and beliefs badly overturned these days,
I struggle to find my thoughts,
or even what to say. 

I am unique, my thoughts are my own.
with walls built around me,
its hard to develop and grow.
 Please explore my soul
so that I may now know.

So look at my soul once more,
this time deeper still.
What do you see?
What is behind the strange and diverse spirit hidden in me?

*

There are a few other things I would like to clear up;

1. It has come to my attention that sometimes the meaning behind my poems can confuse, and I apologize for that. If you ever wonder what the poem has to do with the post, just ask. I'm always willing to share. To be honest, even though I write them to you ( the reader), they are in the form of me talking to God.  So sometimes they may not be clear to you, but they are my heart crying out and talking with my Jesus. In this case, I am asking Him to search my heart and tell me what my desire is. I am asking Him to help me stand firm in His ways even though this world seems to push Him away and overturn His commandments.

2.As for the song choice, they are the same. There is a connection happening between the poem and the song in my opinion. And my goal placing it at the opening is that you listen to it while you read the post to get a better understanding where my mind is at. Now, that may not be how your mind works, or how you best focus in on what you're reading. And the song doesn't always mesh perfectly
with my thoughts, but after searching and searching for the perfect song (Sometimes it takes days), I choose the song that will best fit my mindset in the post.

3, My blog altogether. My blog is my journal, but made public. I do enjoy feedback, but do not expect it. Over the last few years I have started prayer journals, poetry journals, song writing, dancing, blogging. To me, these are all ways I can get to know Christ better. because I am doing them for Him, He will make himself known to me through them all. So again, even though I write TO the public eye, I write it FOR Christ in my communication with Him. So even if the writings don't always make sense to you, they don't have to, because I write them from my heart to His, 

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Lost, confused, searching, content.
Lost in my mind everyday not really living where He placed me.
Confused because I didn't expect this life. How do I live in it and not just survive.
Searching my heart to remind myself He has placed me here for a reason.
Content because  I know that even if I don't know the "Who, what, when, where, and why.", He does. And eventually I will too.

* 

I am simply telling you guys that I am a little confused as many young adults are at my age. Where am I in 2,5,10 years? 

Psalm 37:3+4 is telling me that if I dwell in the Lord and pursue His will, He will grant me the desire of my heart. I am confused because I don't know what that is anymore. I used to know exactly what I wanted. I used to have a plan, know where I would be in a few years. But what I've noticed since I've moved to California, my heart has changed. My heart and mind still desire Him and His will in my life, and I still seek after Him to the best of my ability. But the deepest desires? I have no idea. Because I continue to chase after Him. my heart keeps changing.

I used to be against collage. Not in general, just for myself. I mean, My heart was for something I wouldn't NEED  the education for. so why spend a few years in schooling when I can do hands on learning. Higher education is always beneficial, but wasn't needed for what I wanted in life. Now I seek what collage I might attend for a new path I want to take in life. I used to be against the idea of a California life, now I call it my home. It really is the simple things that my heart keeps changing for, nevertheless, it is still changing. 

*

 So look at my soul once more.this time deeper still.What do you see?

What is this new desire You have put in my heart? It is different from all that I've known. You fill my heart with joy of the thought of it, my mind is blown. So thank You Lord for placing new passion in my life, new friends to encourage me to find Your heart in my new path. Thank You Lord that you are immovable  and steadfast, so that I may know whatever I pursue in my life as long as You come first, my desire shall be of You. Lord I pray You would continue to use me where I am at, and I ask You would help my mind focus and live where I am at in life and not think about tomorrow. Lord, as always, I would ask of You to empty me of me, so that I may be filled with more of You.

-Danielle.