Open wound

                                              Heaven bound                                              

Don’t grieve for me for now I’m free,

I’m following the path God laid before me.

I took his hand when I heard him call,

I turned my back and left it all.

I could not stay another day

To laugh, to love, work or play.

Tasks left undone will stay that way,

I found my peace at close of day.

If my parting has left a void

Then fill it with remembered joy

A friendship shared, a laugh, a kiss,

Ah yes, these things I, too, shall miss.

But not  be burdened with times of sorrow,

I wish you the sunshine of tomorrow.

My life has been full, I’ve savored much.

Good friends, good times, a loved ones touch.

Perhaps my time seemed all to brief

Don’t lengthen it now with undue grief,

Lift up you hearts and share with me,

God wanted me in His arms

 So He set me free.

Dedicated to Sarah Keeler.

October 30, 1977 - July 9, 2016

*

John 14:27
"Peace I leave with you, My peace I give unto you, not as this world giveth.
 So I give it to you, let not your heart be troubled ,neither let it be afraid."

~ * ~

Powerful, moving, loving ,peaceful.

When I received the news I immediately went into shock. I remember the world spinning. My breath was taken away. I sat in silence starring at my phone for at least 10 minutes. Was this actually happening? Was this a dream? When someone tells you the news of a loved ones death, shock tends to happen. You feel in a fog. You feel like its not reality. This reality sets in when you are now the news carrier. When you now have to make that hard phone call to someone else in your family.  I was given the chain. It was now in my hands to tell a few of my family members. Putting in your own words something like this, That is when the truth of it hits you, well, its when it hit me. Yet somehow through all this, I still felt the Lord.

Powerful, moving, loving, peaceful.

~ * ~

It was July 4th I was asked to lead for worship night later in the week, I was stoked. It had been a few years since I had led worship. A friend of mine would be playing her guitar along side me, while I would play my hand drum. We spent a few days picking the set and began practicing. To be honest, I wasn't feeling it. I thought it was a great idea, but I just wasn't feeling it. The Lord had other plans. 

Friday afternoon (July 8th) I got a call from home (Washington) saying that my auntie Sarah and the family were all in a major car accident. They had lost control of their vehicle and their car rolled. somewhere in the roll my aunt s head hit something that knocked her out. My uncle and their kids were able to make it out of the vehicle, but my aunt was trapped in the car, and the car had landed in 3 feet of water. She was underwater for 10 minutes. Shortly after arriving at the hospital they did tests that showed she was brain dead and put on life support. We (the family) were told that if there would be no change by morning, the doctors would declare her dead.

For the first time in a long time I was scared. The day dragged on and on, and as night came, I looked at my bed not wanting to sleep. I knew that the sooner I went to bed, the sooner I would wake up and know the outcome. Would she make it? Was she any better? But deep down I knew. I knew that she wasn't going to make it. And that is why I dreaded going to bed. Because I knew she wan't going to get any better, and the longer I stayed up that night, I somehow hoped her passing wouldn't happen.

Saturday morning (July 9th), this was the night I was going to lead worship. I asked for this day off because I knew that whatever phone call I got from my family, good or bad, I would be emotional. That meant I had a lot of time on my hands to think that day. But the hardest part of my day was the waiting. 8:01...8:02...8:03... The time passed so slowly. Every minute felt like 10. Finally, the moment I didn't want to happen. My mom called me and told me that my auntie was taken off life support, and had passed away. At 12:15pm, July9th 2016, this world lost an amazing woman. 

Sarah Keeler. A selfless woman. A woman willing to always put her family above her own desires. Willing to move from place to place because she knew that was where the Lord had placed her. A woman so willing to love whoever came into her life simply because she knew her Father in heaven loved them also. She was a Proverbs 31 woman.

Yet another long and quiet day in my head. I needed time to clear my thoughts, but there was no time. It was the start of worship practice for Saturday night, and my heart just started singing. I had no mournful thought, and for some reason I had a smile on. The Lords peace came upon me and all I wanted to do was share the joy in my trial with my brothers and sisters. Worship night finally began. I heard the echos of 30 people singing out to the Lord. The theme for the night was Exaltation and Exhortation. And even though I had a pretty terrible day, I somehow just wanted to sing all night. It came time for me to share my testimony, and I had to stop. I told the group of people that as much as I would love to share my own salvation story, and how I came to know Christ as my Lord and Savior, I wasn't feeling led. However, I was feeling led to share something. I told them that I wanted to share the Lords excellence, and exalt his love for us.

I said;

"I know many of you have probably suffered loss in your family, or close friends. So therefore many of  have felt the pain. Whether you are the person who is silenced away by your pain; or you're the person who lets it all out right away. Maybe you try to hold the weight of the world on your shoulders, act like the tough kid and hold it all in. well I was that person. I held it in for my family when my sister passed many years ago, I was there when my gramms passed a few years ago. and my aunt a few months ago. But today I am different. I have nothing to hold in right now because when I think of my aunt Sarah being dead, I just can't picture it. All I can see, and so vividly, Sarah is walking and leaping on the streets of heaven right now. She is praising Jesus face to face, and rejoicing with the saints. I exalt the Lord the Lord that she was even able to do that. I want to exalt my Lord because He was willing all those years ago to come to earth and suffer the death I deserve, so that I may not have to! I say praise be to our Lord! The only reason I have to mourn tonight is that there are people we all know and love who  DO NOT know the love Christ has for them, and the comfort He provides."

Many testimonies were shared last night, and the worship went on for a very long time. The end of the night came and everyone left, yet I didn't feel called to stop. As everyone crawled into their beds, I slipped outside, popped my headphones in, and started to worship. There is no other way to describe the situation really, except to say it was from the Lord. He gave me a strength I have never had before. When I have dealt with loss in my family before, I have always relied on my own strength through the trial, and this time I just was over it. I didn't want that anymore.  Last night I stayed up until my voice could no longer let out noise. I looked at my phone, it was 2:04am! Man. what an amazing time. 

~ * ~

I will mourn the loss of my beautiful aunt for awhile in my heart, but my soul says rejoice in her being in the arms of Jesus. 

~ * ~

Lord thank You for taking her home with You. Thank you for the grace You have given us to even be able to do such a thing. Lord thank You for giving me strength that only You could possible give me! Lord I pray for the lost at heart, that through this pain they may find You in the middle, and come to the knowledge of who You are. Lord the cry of my heart is for the family she left behind. Her husband and children. Bring them comfort in this moment, show them Your love and peace. ~ Amen

~Danielle