365 Days

SPEAK TO ME

So silent, so still,
Listening to hear Gods will.
Longing, Hoping, Praying
My heart will be filled.

Wishing I was flawless,sometimes even perfect,

Wondering what life trials I will next endure.
Eager to seek Him, eager to grow,
Whats inside me only He and I know.

Constant hunger, Constant thirst,
Constantly striving to put the Lord first.
Sometimes unsettled, like somethings not right,
That's the enemy knocking,
A spiritual battle, with you, I'm ready to fight.

Help me Lord, Make my heart your reflection,
Calm my spirit, point me in the right direction.

My life is yours God, this I declare today,

In everything I do, you have the final say.

Lord Jesus come, be my everything,

Help me see and live my Fathers plan.

To you I give all the glory,
Be alive in me while I tell the world your story.

I'm falling down Lord, I remain on my knees,

Its a constant reminder only you provide my every need.

 So I look to you for guidance,
May I hear you in the silence.

I've been asked time and time again to summarize my last year. I've been asked to share my favorite memories, to share the hardest times. To be honest, I can't. A year can't be summarized by a few paragraphs. So here is the start to my story.

I've had this bad habit the last few years in telling the Lord my plan. It was the end of summer 2014, I took my parents aside and told them I was feeling called to be an intern at CRISTA Camps for a year. That was the problem, I had the plan. I had my five year plan all set out, January 2015 I would be an intern, by January 2016 get a local job, earn enough money to possibly go on a missions trip, and so on. The point is, I made MY plan for ME. I didn't give it to the Lord to have HIM make HIS plan for me. 

I applied to be an intern in September 2014. I had a few interviews within the month, but it wasn't the Lords timing, and it wasn't for me. Well, I was still set, I wanted to be an intern. I applied again in November, had a few more interviews, it still wasn't the Lords timing, and it wasn't for me yet. I gave up, by this time it was already January 2015, my five year plan was out the window now.

I had a little "come to Jesus" moment, I realized I wasn't giving my all to Him. I asked Him everyday what His plans were. I told Him I was willing to fallow Him wherever He wanted me. I was confused, I thought I was being called to something, turns out it just wasn't His timing.

I finally had peace, I knew The Lord had plans for me, I just wasn't expecting what He gave me next, for a year. March 11th 2015 a call came in from CRISTA. The intern director was calling me, he asked me to re-open my application. Within a week I had three more interviews and was told I would know the answer in a few days. By March 23d 2015, I was hired! I started April 1st 2015. 

 That was the start of a crazy amazing journey. I was told right off the bat I would experience a roller- coaster of emotions. I would go through a few months of great things. Then the newness goes away, you hit routine, and you start asking the question "Why did I say yes for a year?". A few more months go by, new inters come in, you feel fresh again. Then it happens, you feel tired, worn out, you want to be done. Then something amazing happens, you realize the answer to your question. I didn't give my service to CRISTA for a year, I gave my whole life to Jesus, a year was nothing.

I admit, at the beginning, I just went day-by-day. I made it through. But I realized the opportunity I was given, and what I was missing out on. I was placed somewhere that gets in the word daily. Somewhere that is surrounded by The Holy Spirit, by His creation. I was taking advantage of it! When I realized that, I changed my habits. I had to change my physical health habits before I changed my spiritual growth pattern. I started working out more. I started waking up earlier, drinking more water, and I changed my diet. I knew once I started feeling better physically, there was no excuse for not reading the word daily.

Once I changed my perspective, the internship started helping me deal with wounds that hadn't healed yet. It helped me overcome my fears. The internship helped me see the gifts God has given me through a different light. It helped me know where I was weak, and helped me gain confidence through that weakness. The internship helped me understand the importance in the day-to-day relationships, and in turn, I gained a better relationship with my family. The best part? The internship gave me time and space to grow closer to Christ then ever before.

Friendships, Family, Memories, Connections. I started the internship not knowing any of the interns, only knowing a few of the full-time staff members, and not knowing the intern director. I started the internship not knowing many connections outside my local church. I started the internship alone.

I ended the internship with life-long friendships all across the globe. I ended the internship with many connections, just waiting to be used. I ended the internship with so many memories from crazy adventures. I ended the internship with a whole new family.

From 2011-2016 CRISTA has been a huge chunk of my life. I have spent summer after summer, and now a full year serving along some great people. Its hard to say this, but I think the Lord has me moving on. It has been an amazing journey for me at camp, its where I have grown the most. Its hard to say goodbye to something  that was so big in your life. But I know this was just a chapter, and knowing that even though it was the best so far, The Lord has even more in store for me in the next chapter. 

So even though it's been a roller-coaster of emotions and happenings this year, I have nothing but praise to give my Lord. Looking back on it, I see the Lords hand in it all, helping me grow and learn to be more like Him. The next few posts I will be sharing some of the biggest moments of the year with you, and where the Lord has me going next. My prayer is that you don't see some 20 year old's writings, but you see the work of The Lord in the stories. 

 Read Psalms 66:1-20, Philippians 4:4-9

Lord, I make this my prayer. May I never cease telling of your marvelous works. May my lips always sing praise to you, be everything I do. Help me seek you first in all that I do. Help me see you in all of your creation. Lord, please empty me of me, so I may be filled with all of you! 

-Danielle